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Jan 03

L.A. Tool and Die

L.A. Tool and DieThe 1979 porno “L.A. Tool and Die” is the last of the “Working Man’s Trilogy” by legendary director Joe Gage. It’s a classic in the strongest sense of the word. The adventures began in “Kansas City Trucking Co.,” continued in “El Paso Wrecking Corp.,” and conclude in this working-class love story/road movie. Richard Locke, the only performer to appear in every movie of the trilogy, plays Hank, a blue collar worker who takes off for L.A. to find Wylie (Will Seagers), the man he just met in a bar and fell for at first sight. Wylie has a job lined up at a placed called L.A. Tool and Die and that’s all Hank knows about him, but it’s enough.

Even if you haven’t seen the first two movies, if you’re after hot fucking with enough of a story to keep it interesting, this will be very satisfying. “L.A. Tool and Die” is a product of its era, when sex was woven into a narrative and the action felt natural. The movie is also notable for a cameo from mainstream actor/writer Michael Kearns, in the orgy in scene one. He plays Jim, who’s sucking cock when Hank arrives at the orgy and ends up in a blow-bang, taking a cum bath. Kearns came out in the mid-70s, making him Hollywood’s first openly gay actor. He appeared in this, his only adult film, after he had already been in “The Waltons” and “Kentucky Fried Movie.” Kearns went on to guest star on many TV shows while building a successful theater career as an actor and playwright. He remains one of very few mainstream actors to perform explicit sex in a hardcore porno and he probably could have made a great porn star, if he hadn’t become a mainstream success.

Afterward, Hank goes to the bar where he meets Wylie. Even though Wylie seems interested in Hank, he’s not into “sport fucking” and he has to leave for L.A. Rejection leaves Hank in a mood for a fight, which he gets in the bathroom with a homophobe. The guy accuses Hank of being a cocksucker, which leads to the best line of the movie: “You’d better believe it. If there’s anything I like better than sucking cock, it’s kicking ass.” Hank proceeds to do the latter and then hits the road in pursuit of Wylie.

That night, Wylie meets a woman on the side of the road and tries to offer her a ride, which she declines. It turns out she’s not a hitchhiker. Soon, Fred (Casey Donovan) pulls up in a Cadillac and she accepts a ride. She pulls a gun on Fred, orders him into the woods, has him handcuff himself to a tree, and leaves him there. What happens next involves a minor spoiler, but it’s a great sex scene.

The road presents many opportunities for sexual adventures. For those with a thing for straight guys, next we see a man (Paul Barresi) and a woman (Becky Bitter, aka Becky Savage) pull over for a quickie in a rest area while a backpacker (Shawn Victors) spies on them. When the man tosses the condom, the backpacker retrieves it and sucks the cum out of it while jerking off over what he just saw. Later, Wylie gets a sensual blowjob through a gas station bathroom gloryhole from a cock-hungry gas station attendant, contradicting what he told Hank about not being into hookups. Next, Hank has to stop for a windstorm and ends up having a hot group suck and fuck in the back of a van stopped in front of him.

Wylie gets to L.A. Tool and Die, enters the employment office, and sees Hank waiting there. Somehow, between their pits stops, they managed to get there the same day and both find jobs. Is it meant to be? First, Hank will have to break down Wylie’s resistance. After all, everybody loves a happy ending.