Classic: The Rivermen

The RivermenOriginally released in 1973, “The Rivermen” got a remastered re-release in 1981 thanks to Bijou Pictures. This dramatic murder-mystery porno is a pre-condom gem that brings hot outdoor action and plenty of cumshots.

After eight years, Ernie (Duke Benson, looking like a ’70s James Dean) returns to his tiny hometown to solve the mystery of his lover Rick’s disappearance. Luck is on Ernie’s side when he runs into Rick’s lookalike brother, Burt (Bert Edwards), who is also here to look for Rick. (Yes, the main characters’ names are Burt and Ernie.) Ernie says the last person to see Rick was local thug Andy, who always insisted that Rick went back to Canada. Ernie and Burt decide to join up and find out what happened to Rick, but first they have some sexual attraction to act upon. Burt explains that he’s a love ’em and leave ’em type, but Ernie just wants a good time while it lasts. In a field next to some train tracks, Ernie and Burt sixty-nine and fuck missionary style. As a train approaches, Burt begins to cum on his stomach as Ernie thrusts with powerful strokes. Ernie pulls out and unloads on Burt’s hole as the train leaves. Afterward, they cool off by skinny dipping and decide to go find Andy.

Even eight years later, Andy (Leroy Jennings) still hangs out at the same bar, because this is the kind of town most people don’t leave. Andy, looking like a redneck Gerard Depardieu, nastily denies any knowledge of Rick’s whereabouts and walks off. Just as Ernie and Burt decide to trap Andy into a confession, two of Ernie’s old fuck buddies, Mike (Steve Weld) and Mark (Jake Dillon), show up and agree to help. Mike goes off to round up more guys to help, finds two of them sixty-nining under a shade tree, and turns it into a threeway. Folks in this town are fuck-happy and not shy about man-on-man action.

Meanwhile, Burt, Ernie, and Mark invite Andy to a party on a houseboat, saying they hope to ease the bad feelings between them. Andy reluctantly agrees and a big group sets out to cruise the river. Unbeknownst to Andy, they’re heading for the Point, where he was rumored to hide stolen merchandise. With little to do but relax, plenty of sucking and fucking ensues all over the boat, between various pairs and groups.

When they get to the Point, Ernie, Burt, and Mark sneak off the boat to look for clues, hoping Andy won’t figure out what they’re doing. They get separated, so Ernie and Mark decide to stay put and wait for Burt to find them. This leaves plenty of time for Ernie to suck Mark’s dick and vice versa, individually and in sixty-nine. Then Ernie bends Mark over against a fallen tree and takes his ass in slow, sweet strokes.

Meanwhile, Burt finds a necklace that he once gave to his brother, which confirms the gang’s suspicions that Andy brought Rick here and killed him. When confronted, Andy confesses, but he escapes and leads them on quite a chase before the resolution.

After the funeral, Ernie and Burt are relaxing on the houseboat. Burt reminds Ernie that he can’t promise to stay, but Ernie is satisfied living in the moment. They close the movie with the hottest of all the fuck scenes, Burt frantically smothering Ernie’s ass in kisses and slaps before fucking him wildly.

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