Classic Porn: The Dicks of Hazzard

The Dicks of HazzardDick Boys Bo (Brent Summers) and Luke (Brant Moore) are the horny heroes of “The Dicks of Hazzard,” a parody that won Best Gay Feature Film for 2007 at the VOD Awards. It’s no surprise this movie is popular, with hot guys having the kind of sex that many of us dreamed about having with “them Dukes” from the original series!

Bo tends to his moonshine and finds that it makes good lube for masturbation. When Deputy Roscoe (Marc Sterling) catches Bo with the moonshine, Bo offers to fuck him in order to stay out of jail. How could Roscoe resist such a beautiful blond? They suck each other before Bo mounts Roscoe’s hard cock for a quickie. Roscoe arrests Bo anyway, but Bo escapes.

Meanwhile, Luke visits his sexy farmhand lover (Jayden Holloway). Gripped by lust, they don’t seem to mind the scratchy hay against their skin. These two are clearly enjoying each other, judging by the passion in their kisses, and it makes for one of the best scenes. The farmhand’s pa gets home and sees Luke running out the back of the shed, but that sneaky Dick boy manages to get away.

Get ready for a sexier, younger Uncle Jizzy Dick (Adam Faust), who’s irresistible even to Boss Cock (Caleb Carter) with his pierced nipples peeking out from under his overalls. Boss Cock says that his officers are searching the land for a moonshine still, but Jizzy can keep his land if he sucks Cock’s cock. Jizzy also eats his “Georgia peach” and fucks him, but it’s not enough to keep Boss Cock from living up to his name and arresting Jizzy when he hears the news from Roscoe.

Daisy Dick (Miss Reba Rose Rau) is a waitress in a pool hall where some good ol’ boys decide to have a threeway on the pool table. It has nothing to do with the story, but you aren’t watching this for a plot anyway, right? These are three hot country boys succumbing to their lust and there isn’t much hotter than that. Afterward, Roscoe shows up looking for the Dick boys and Daisy. The pool hall trio throws him off the scent, but the Dicks are all hiding in the back room and they hear it all. They devise a plan to spring Uncle Jizzy from jail that involves Bo and Luke leading Roscoe on a chase.

Excited by their getaway, Bo and Luke remember that they aren’t blood related, so they can fuck. First there is some hot foreplay and then Luke pounds Bo up against a water tower. Watching these angelically beautiful young men going at each other in the outdoors is the highlight of the movie.

In the jailhouse, Jizzy tries to reach for the keys that Penis (Tyler Mason) keeps on his belt, but when caught, he has to pretend he was reaching for his cock. Penis jumps at the opportunity and is soon sucking Jizzy’s cock in the cell before getting his tight ass nailed. They both blow huge loads. Soon Daisy arrives to help Jizzy escape and they get Penis to tell them Boss Cock has been planning to try and claim the land at a public hearing while the Dicks are in jail. Jizzy apologetically knocks Penis out and swaps clothes with him.

Boss Cock and Roscoe arrive at the jail and are fooled into thinking that Penis is Jizzy. They find the lube that Daisy put there and decide to use it. Roscoe sucks Boss Cock’s dick and fucks his ass, and it’s only when the condom comes off and Boss Cock tries to lick off the lube that they discover they’ve been duped. Daisy gets photographic evidence of their tryst, so they’ll hopefully never try anything like this again.

The Dicks arrive at the hearing before Boss Cock and his officers can extricate themselves, so the judge (Kyle Aames) declares in favor of Uncle Jizzy. They celebrate with a spontaneous orgy, yee-haw!

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